I need to get real about my finances. For the last 6 months I’ve been pretending that things are going to plan but they’re not. I’m living pay check to pay check again which I hate. This isn’t as dire as it sounds. I do have savings and am paying off everything I need to but I can’t work out why I feel I need so many things. I’ve been actively working at minimising yet I go out and buy new things I don’t need. I buy clothes when I’m doing Project 333 and have donated half my wardrobe. I get caught up in things I do need – yesterday I bought a new planner for next year. It cost me $89. Did I need to spend that much? No because a $10 planner would be sufficient.
Why do I do this to myself?
My mindset is not right for what I want to be achieving. For one, I’m influenced by social media. I’m 100% aware that social media is not real life. But I follow a lot of coaches and health/well-being people on Instagram and they’re just so damn productive with their planners, mugs, notebooks and pens and I think “damn, if I have those things I’ll be productive too!” I know it’s a lie. And I know that it won’t help but for some reason I don’t stop myself.
Another reason is that I don’t have a lot of spending money once I’ve taken care of bills, savings and other essentials. Once I go over I think “well fuck it, I may as well blow it.” A solution could be more breathing room. I’m going to spend a bit of time working out what I’m spending again following my money method that I outlined here.
We’ve gone through some big changes this year and financially we’ve spent a lot. We’re still in the process of renovating, I had expensive surgery and booked holidays that we’ve paid for up-front. Whilst we haven’t been frivolous with our money, we haven’t exactly been careful either.
I think there’s a fine line when it comes to spending and saving. I want to be careful with my spending but still feel free to make choices without having that anxiety-inducing moment.
Back to the planner I bought yesterday. Whilst it’s certainly a lot of money, I worked out it ends up being approximately $1.70 per week. But I anguished over this choice for weeks and I don’t want that. I want to feel confident in the choices I’m making. I want to intrinsically know that it’s ok to spend money on things that are useful and important, especially when I can afford to and it’s not impacting anything else. But that is where the problem lies. It is impacting other things so until I get that sorted I’ll feel either anxious or ambivalent about every purchase I make.
So, my aim for the rest of this year is to get my finances sorted so I can start 2018 fresh.