I’ve been with my partner for 14 years now but there are still things that I’ve learnt from other people to apply to my own relationship. Let’s be honest, it’s easy to fall into a rut because you’ve become so comfortable together.
Here’s what I’ve learnt
o Date nights. Have them. Even if it’s just cooking together, setting the table up nice and having a good bottle of wine together. Probably better to go out but even something simple works. Do this consistently. It’ll help separate the mundane everyday stuff.
o Compromise. This is from everything to housework, finances, in the bedroom, lifestyle and more. Talk about things and compromise. Relationships that work work because they compromise.
o Respect boundaries. This is something that was really ingrained in me by a girl I went to uni with. Her motto really was “I’ll try anything once.” And she did. And because of that she had a number of experiences that probably wouldn’t have eventuated. What I’ve learnt is that if I’ve tried something and decided I don’t like it, I can say no. So if your partner tries something for you, appreciate it and don’t push it if they decide they don’t want to anymore or again. The fact that they tried should be more than enough for you.
o In-jokes. Have them. It can make you giggle at inappropriate times and people around you will have no idea what’s going on but that’s ok. It means you have a bond that only the two of you understand. Friends of mine have a weird thing where one of them will say ‘kitten’ and they will both burst out laughing – I have no idea why or what it means but its really sweet to see.
o Have a hobby together. Most couples I know have very separate interests which is great but there are always one or two things that both are really passionate about and share. Me personally, I’m not really passionate about much except finding out who ‘A’ is on Pretty Little Liars (only a few weeks to go!!) and food and wine. The food and wine does work as a kind of hobby between my partner and I but we also both enjoy walking and trying out new tracks. The rest of our interests are pretty separate but these are the things that we can do together and will always enjoy.
What have you learned from another relationship?